Losing Now, To Have Forever
by DannyWhitlock
Summary: Jasper and Bella are heartbroken. They are helping each other heal, but what happens when new feelings pop up? Will push each other away, or accept it and spend forever together?
1. Losing Now

**I hope everyone enjoyed the prolouge. This is short but I PROMISE they will get MUCH longer. Thanks to JynxxD, you really helped.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight, wish I was a vampire in their clan though.**

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**Bella POV**

"Edward, say something, please?" I looked up at my perfect vampire. My. I didn't feel so confident in that lately.

"What do you want me to say, Bella?" Edward said back a bit harshly, quickly trying to cover with a small smile.

I sat up into a criss-cross position on the bed. I wanted to be able to see his reactions to what I was going to say, I doubted he would tell me what he was thinking. He had been so distant lately. For about the past 3 weeks he would rarely make eye contact with me. We never went to his house or our meadow anymore, although it was fall, I still liked to visit. Was he going to leave me? Had he finally decided I wasn't good enough for him?

"Tell me why you're doing this to me. Why you are acting like you don't care about..." He cut me off then.

"I DON'T CARE?" He stood up off the bed with vampire speed and started to pace. He was fuming now, thank God Charlie wasn't here, "About what, Bella? About your soul?

"The problem here is that I do care," He said, a bit more slowly. His eyes lightened up a bit.

"Well I don't quite see how my soul is an issue anymore, Edward! If we can't make this work while I'm human then there is no point in 'taking my soul', now is there?"

I was shaking uncontrollably now, sobbing hard. Edward, unlike himself, made no attempt to comfort me.

"Bella, I can't take your soul because..." He pursed his lips, searching for the right words.

"You know what? I can't do this. I'm just going to say it... I love you, Bella, but I am no longer _in _love with you, do you understand?"

Then everything stopped, instead of answering I looked up at him. I didn't cry either, at least not that I was aware of. I felt a hole in my chest and a pit in my stomach. Everything started to go black as I fell off the bed. I felt cool arms catching me for what might be the very last time.

I welcomed the darkness with no hesitation.

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**Okay, so what do you think? REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! The more reviews, the more chapters. Even this early on in the story because I can make chapters longer and then add so much to one chapter that it will have to be carried on into the next one. I am writing no less than 20 chapters, and there will definitely be a sequel. Sorry I didn't write Alice's reasons for leaving yet, they probably won't come until chapter 3. VOTE ON THE POLL!**


	2. Left Behind

**Well as I promised, chapters WILL be getting longer! please leave detailed previews, they help SO MUCH. I will also review back. Here we go!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

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**Edwards POV**

I looked down at Bella. We were laying on her bed, talking. I needed to leave Bella. And if I waited any longer it would just be worse. My first intentions when I started getting involved with Bella were not to leave her, it was only a few months ago that I realized I was only attracted to her because of her scent and ability to keep me out of her mind.

**Flashback**

_Bring Bella over today after school, please? I would like to dress her for the Halloween party. Alice's thoughts were directed at me._

_"Alice, I told you... I don't want her to hang around all of you. I am trying to separate her from this family and it's only getting harder with you wanting to constantly treat her like a doll," I spoke, in a regular voice. Although Alice was 2 rooms away, she heard me._

_"And please, stay away from her in school." I added._

_"Oh, so now that you realize you don't love Bella we all have to stay away but you are allowed to lead her on? That's sick, Edward, and you know it!" Alice barked. She used her words rather than thoughts when she was really upset._

_She came and sat on the piano bench with me._

_"You know what, Alice, you're right." I said simply, then made a new decision. I would just leave Bella, I guess I could go on without knowing the key to her infuriatingly private mind._

_Alice's eyes went blank as she got a vision._

_It was Bella, asleep, murmuring something about me. "Please, Edward, go! I don't love you anymore!" _

_Alice snapped out of it._

_I smirked at her. "See, she won't even want me. Now, are you going to stay out of this?"_

_Fine, but you are so wrong about this, Edward. I promise you._

**End of flashback**

"Edward, say something, please?" Bella asked, hesitantly.

"What do you want me to say, Bella?" I replied, rudely. I tried to cover it up with small smile. I doubt it worked.

Bella sat up into a criss-cross position on the bed. Looking at me observantly. For about the past 3 weeks we barely made eye contact, it was weird doing so now; right before I would hurt her in the second worst way possible.

"Tell me why you're doing this to me. Why you are acting like you don't care about..." I couldn't believe what I was hearing, I cut her off immediately.

"I DON'T CARE?" I stood up off the bed with vampire speed and started to pace. I was fuming now; thankful Charlie was working, "About what, Bella? About your soul?" I was trying hard to keep my anger contained. "The problem here is that I do care," I said, a bit more slowly, calming down.

"Well I don't quite see how my soul is an issue anymore! If we can't make this work while I'm human then there is no point in 'taking my soul', now is there?" She was shaking as she sobbed on her bed. I still cared for her and wanted to comfort her, but it was best if I didn't.

"Bella, I can't take your soul because..." I pursed my lips, searching for the right words. I wanted so badly to turn back and lie. Lie to protect her from hurting, but I couldn't keep up this charade forever.

"You know what? I can't do this. I'm just going to say it... I love you, Bella, but I am no longer _in _love with you, do you understand?" I felt horrible, my cold heart felt as if it was getting colder.

The look on her face made me want to die. And stay dead this time. She didn't say a word, she didn't cry. She just started to shut her eyes.

I realized she was fainting and went to stop her from falling off the bed. She went limp and I placed her where she wouldn't fall off. What was I supposed to do now? Leave? I couldn't leave her like this. Maybe I should wait until she comes around.

I decided to call Alice. She picked up on the first ring.

"I can't believe this, Edward! FAINTING! You hurt her too much, maybe when she wakes up you can convince her this was a dream and," I stopped her then.

"NO, ALICE! This is what she needs, I just don't know if I should wait until she comes around or leave now. Help? Please?" I asked, pathetically.

I felt horrible, disgusted in what I had done to Bella. I cared for her like a friend, but that was all. I wished now that I could change my feelings.

"Ha! You really think I'm going to help you after taking my best friend away? No. Do it YOURSELF!" She fumed, screaming the last word, everyone in the house had to be aware of what was happening by now.

"Okay, I will. But if my decision hurts her more, it's your fault." I hoped that would get her to help.

"Not going to work. Figure it out on your own." I heard the dial tone.

Damn Alice! She was the only one who knew manipulation better than me.

Bella started to mumble something, I hoped this was Alice's vision coming true...

Nope. Instead she just screamed.

I took the cowards way out and left. I jumped out the window, running as fast I could to my house. As I was running I thought about what we would do. Leaving everything behind was best. Sticking around would just hurt Bella even more, seeing us but not being able to join us. Ever.

I slowed as I neared the house, knowing exactly what everyone's reaction would be, even if I couldn't read their minds. I jumped up to my bedroom window, wanting to avoid Alice. I climbed in and of course, someone was there. "Alice, please leave." I said sternly, then realizing it wasn't Alice, but Esme.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, I didn't mean to disappoint you," My mothers sweet voice joked a bit. "I could leave, if you want."

"If you have something you would like to say, you are always welcome to talk with me. I just don't want to be pestered by Alice right now." I softened up a bit whenever I spoke to Esme, no matter how angry I was; she was the kindest person you could meet.

"Well, I'm afraid it won't be much better here. I won't try to change your mind but Alice mentioned the way you told Bella, and how you left her in that state. That isn't right, Edward. You could at least go back to her, help her. I don't see why you can't remain friends. I consider Bella my daughter, you know." Esme's concerned voice pained me almost as much as Bella's face did before she fainted.

I didn't have the heart to tell her I wanted us to leave. I would tell Carlisle first. I always trusted him.

"Esme, that would just prolong the inevitable. There is no reason for her to have to be one of us. I'm sorry, but, with all due respect, I don't agree with you." I explained to my mother carefully.

"Okay, honey. If you would like to talk about it I will be hunting later, maybe you could join me?" Esme asked, wanting to help.

"Maybe," I didn't want to hurt her. "Thank you, Esme."

She nodded and left. A few hours later I went to talk to Carlisle.

_Come in. _Carlisle thought. He heard me outside his study.

"Carlisle, I hate to ask this of you but, we need to leave." I blurted out as soon as I closed the door.

Nobody was home. Esme and Emmett went hunting, Alice and Rosalie went out to shop, and Jasper was in Seattle attending his favorite Museum.

"Hmm, straight to the point I see." Carlisle simply replied.

"I know Esme and Alice will object, but I am asking you, father to son, to please understand why this is best and to please, please... take my side. I don't like asking you to go against Esme's wishes but I don't want Bella hurt by this any longer." I wanted to make sure I got everything in before Esme and Emmett returned.

I tried getting into Carlisle's mind but it was hard, with enough concentration he could keep me out. He had years of practice.

"Edward, why don't we discuss this with everyone. I can't speak for the family." Carlisle spoke, sounding wise, as usual.

I looked at the clock. 4:37. I went upstairs to wait. Everyone returned by 8:30.

"Can everyone please join Edward and I in the dining room, we need to talk." Carlisle spoke, sounding much like the father and leader he was. Everyone sat down. Carlisle at the head of the table, expectantly. Esme at the other end. I sat on Carlisle's Right, Alice to his left. Emmett and Jasper sat on either side of Esme. Rosalie, knowing this would be about Bella, didn't bother to sit down, she just stood next to Emmett.

"Well, since Edward decided to ruin a perfectly good thing, he thinks it is best to leave," Alice said matter-of-factly, like she didn't just blurt out my secret. I'd rather Carlisle did it.

"I didn't ruin a _good _thing. I can't help how I feel and I couldn't lead Bella on as YOU pointed out," I yelled at Alice.

"Alice. Edward. Calm down. Arguing isn't going to help us at all," Esme said.

She acted like a mother most during these conversations we always had at our dining room table, the one that was never used to eat on. Except when Charlie and Bella came over for dinner once.

"Esme is right," Carlisle said slowly, smiling at Esme. "We need to discuss this calmly, like adults."

"What we need to do is understand that we are leaving. That is what's best for Bella," I told everyone.

"I'm not leaving, Edward. I'm a senior and I will not leave now just to go be a sophomore again in a few weeks." Rosalie spat at me.

"Then go on another honeymoon with Emmett," I said as if it fixed everything; but I knew it wouldn't.

"Woah, woah, woah, WOAH! I don't want to leave either. I love Bella like a sister. Sorry, Eddie, but just cause Bella wouldn't give you some, doesn't mean we should have to suffer." Emmett sided with Rosalie, in a more humorous matter.

Rosalie hit him, thankfully before I did, and added, "Don't be so childish, Emmett."

"We can't stay here and torture Bella, it isn't fair to her! Carlisle, tell them," I pleaded.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I told you, I don't choose for everyone. If you want to leave then so be it. I really would love for you to stay but if this is where my children and wife are most happy, this is where I will stay." Carlisle explained in a calm matter, not helping to contain my anger at all.

"What! Carlisle, please. You can't be serious! You would do that to Bella?" I asked, exasperated.

"Edward, I'm sorry. You made your bed, you lie in it." Carlisle didn't mean to offend me, he just wanted to make me understand his feelings, I didn't care though.

"Alice, she is your best friend. You know this will hurt her more! Do something," I begged toward Alice, I doubted she would help, though.

"Edward is right," Alice muttered in a half vision, I couldn't see what it was. I hadn't even realized she was in a vision until now. She was also very good at blocking me out.

"It will hurt Bella immensely, even if we were to stay in her life." Alice said dimly, looking... I couldn't put my finger on it. I decided not to push it right now, she agreed with me, that's all that mattered.

"You know, this is so cliche of you, Edward. But _Alice, _now that's hard to believe. You're are being just as selfish as Edward," Rosalie spat at us, then left.

"Thank you, Alice. Now everyone, pack your bags." I started to leave but then Carlisle spoke.

"No Edward, I'm sorry. Whoever wishes to leave, they may. But whoever wants to stay, can stay. I am staying and I wish everyone would too, but I see that's unlikely." Carlisle then walked away, meeting Rosalie, who was thoroughly excited, at the top of the stairs. They hugged then went their separate ways. I could not believe this.

Jasper was looking at Alice, confused. Alice kept looking in the future, blocking me from her mind. I went upstairs to pack my things. I got a moving box from the garage and packed my CD's, clothes, and favorite books. I also grabbed my stereo and headed out to my Volvo. I went back in to say goodbye to Esme.

"Come on, Jasper, we are leaving," Alice ordered.

"I don't want to. I'm not going anywhere until you tell me your vision," Jasper protested.

"I told you, I felt heartbroken because I was feeling Bella's feelings. She was waking up and realizing Edward was gone," Alice explained; I could tell she was lying. I didn't care enough to ask or intervene.

"Esme, may I come in?" I asked, feeling ashamed before entering Esme's office. She liked to work at home when she wasn't at the bank. Her work kept her feeling like a true mother. One that took care of her kids; and that was what she was.

"Of course, dear," Esme said, seeming lost.

"I'm sorry, Esme. But I can't stay around to hurt Bella anymore. I promise I will visit; I love you." I said, feeling so guilty for causing my mother so much pain. She hated losing one of her kids.

"Oh, sweetie, don't worry. As long as you visit I can hold up. I do have to ask one last time though, please stay?" Esme's plea didn't have much determination in it. She knew I would leave no matter what.

"I'm sorry, mother. I will call when I figure out where I'm going. Expect to hear from me within a week. I won't keep from you." With that, I left.

"Goodbye," Esme said as I closed the door.

Carlisle was standing by the door. "Goodbye, Son. Please do call. I would hate for Esme to be in pain if you broke your promise." Carlisle said, sounding like a true father.

"Goodbye, Carlisle. I will." And since nobody seemed to have anything to say, I left.

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**Well, there you have it. I decided to do a whole chapter on Edward because he won't be coming back for a while (hopefully).**

**Please, as always, REVIEW! It is greatly appreciated.**

**And don't worry, I won't be always writing the same parts over and over..**


	3. Decided

**Time to find out why Alice leaves! Review please!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but sometimes I wish I could be a part of it.**

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**Alice's POV**

"Jasper, I don't have time for this." I was throwing everything into suitcases, "Pack. Now."

"No, I won't. I need an explanation. A real explanation." Jasper was getting upset. I hated to lie to him but I already saw what would happen if I told him, it would just make it happen sooner. I had no idea how to work around this. Maybe if I stayed I could keep them separated.

"Fine, Jasper. We can stay, but it is going to hurt Bella," I said rudely. It was decided then, we would stay.

**Vision**

_It was Bella, sleep talking._

_Edward had seen this part of the vision. What he didn't see was that someone was in the room with Bella._

_"Edward, go! Please! I don't love you anymore!" Bella screamed._

_Then, for the 7th time tonight, my heart broke. Jasper came into view._

_ "Shhh, it's okay, Bella," he said, then kissed her forehead. "I love you."_

**End of vision**

_Why wasn't it changing? Why wasn't it changing?_ I kept repeating in my head. I needed to hunt. I was naturally outraged at Bella. Even if she didn't know she was doing something wrong, she was.

"Thank you for seeing this my way, Alice." Jasper whispered in my ear, hugging my waist from behind. I loved this feeling, and now, knowing it might be one of the last times, I was grateful for it.

"I'm going to go hunt," I said to Jasper, reluctantly unwrapping his embrace. "I would prefer to be alone."

"Okay, I'll be in my library." With that, Jasper left.

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**Bella's POV**

I woke up around 2 a.m. The first thing I noticed, Edward was gone. I was right, he didn't want me. I wasn't good enough for him. I was so foolish to believe we could spend forever together, that I was good enough for a vampire. Then I felt it, the familiar pain in my torso. The same pain I felt when he first spoke the words. I felt as though someone took my heart out of its place and stabbed it, repeatedly. I didn't know what to do, so I just cried endlessly.

"Can I come in?" I heard Charlie outside the door.

I didn't answer. I didn't want to talk. Edwards words kept hitting me, over and over again. This pain was too much to bear. I didn't have the strength to speak. I felt bad as I heard Charlie walk away.

Did he know? Did Edward leave a note? I looked around the room, hopelessly scanning the walls and my computer desk. If there was a note, I surely missed it. I couldn't see through my tears. I wrapped my arms around my torso and started rocking back and forth. I glanced at the clock after what felt like hours. 4:38. I felt myself drifting to sleep, happy to escape this pain.

**Dream**

_"Edward, please, don't" I screamed at Edward._

_I looked around. We were in a classroom. Edward finally turned to me, then I saw his eyes; Crimson._

_"Hello, Bella." Edward was smiling. _

_"E-Edward?" I gasped._

_I then noticed all the dead bodies. Some of my closest friends. Angela, Mike, Tyler, Eric, and Jessica. Edward pressed his lips to my neck. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move or scream either. It felt good, being in his arms, even if I was about to die; I didn't care. If I couldn't have Edward then I wanted to die. He was everything to me. _

_I felt the familiar burn of vampire venom. All of my blood was almost gone._

**End of dream**

"Edward, NO!" I woke up, screaming. I heard Charlies' footsteps and quickly hushed myself.

"Bella, what is it?" He asked, gun in hand.

"I'm sorry dad, it was a dream," I murmured. "Just go back to bed."

"Uh, sure, but um.. is everything okay? With you guys?" Charlie asked awkwardly.

"We uh, we broke up Dad." I turned over.

"Oh, well, sorry. I'm heading over to the station in a bit, gotta work early today. If you want me to stay home I could call-"

I interrupted him, "No, Dad. It's fine. I'm fine. Go."

"Alright, call if you need anything, er love ya," Charlie said, turning away.

Then they started again, the tears. It was still early, 6? I spent the entire morning crying, feeling the unbearable pain in my chest, the hole in my stomach that was just getting wider as I sobbed.

Finally, after hours of endless amounts of tears and ear-deafening screams, I stopped. Although the pain remained.

**2 days later**

I didn't want to go to school. I didn't want to have to look over at their table and see 5 empty seats, ones that wouldn't be filled for a 100 more years.

Unless of course, he didn't leave. Would he do that? Stay just to make me see what I couldn't have? Now that was definitely something that would push me over the edge.

I decided to find out. Maybe he would spare me some pain and let me sit with him one more time. That is, if he stayed. I climbed in my truck and turned on the engine.

"Hey, Bella," Emmett roared.

"Holy crap, Emmett! Wait... Emmett!?" I couldn't help but jump at him in a hug.

"Woooah, Bella. I know you always had a thing for me but I think we should wait just a little longer. How long is the appropriate time to wait to date your brothers' ex?" Emmett joked, so cliche of him.

"Oh, Emmett, I can't believe this. He didn't leave! And he is letting us talk! I am so hap-"

"Actually, Bella, he left. Everyone else stayed, sorry," Emmett said, apologetically.

"Oh, well um, I mean at least I still have you guys, right?" I knew I didn't look as happy as I tried to sound. Then I started again, uncontrollably the hot tears poured down my cheeks once again.

"Bella, maybe you should stay home? I'll stay with you if you want," Emmett was being serious, not like himself. I couldn't reply. I felt myself being lifted out of the truck.

He set me on the couch. "Um, wants some tissues?" I was thankful Emmett was here.

"No, th-thanks, Em-mett, I'm f-fine, really," I managed to choke out, trying to get up. I grabbed my keys off the coffee table.

"Bella, come on. Anybody can see you aren't in any shape to go to school. Just stay here with Emmy-bear, I can make you feel better." Emmett said, smirking at his suggestive remark.

"Emmett, please. I don't feel like joking, but I guess missing one day wouldn't hurt, thanks." I told him, still crying a bit.

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**I love Emmett, I wish I had a brother like him.**

**I am going to have as much Esme and Emmett in this story as possible without making the story seem like it is just a bunch of random Twilight stuff, because I really like their personalities and they are my favorite along with Jasper and Carlisle.**

**Please Review, as always.**

**I update quite often as you can see but I probably won't update for a week because I really want to work on the chapters I'm about to write and I write these chapters in like an hour or 2 so I want to make these future chapters even better.**


	4. Spain

**I hope you all enjoy. I do realize now that I didn't technically write Alice's reason for leaving during my last chapter because when I first wrote the chapter, Jasper gave in to Alice and left with her, but then I decided to take a new path and I totally forgot about that, sorry. But I promise it's in here.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, nor do I make any money from this.**

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**Alice's POV**

"Bella and Emmett decided not to come today." I whispered to Jasper. We were in English. He didn't reply. I just rolled my eyes, tuned out, and thought about my recurring vision of Jasper and Bella.

I didn't know how to keep them apart any better than I was now except for leaving, which clearly was not going to happen. If only I knew what was going to bring them together, then maybe I could stop it from happening. I would have to find out what Bella and Jasper were planning on doing in the next few weeks. I tried to see it but nothing came up.

The bell rang, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Okay, everyone, make sure you really work hard on this project, it's important," the teacher said as the class filed out.

_Darn. _I must have really been out of it. "Jazz, I'm going to need for you to explain the assignment to me later."

"Of course, my love." He then pulled me into a kiss. I would miss this.

"Alice, could we go outside for lunch," Jasper seemed bothered. "We need to talk."

I followed Jasper outside to the farthest bench in the courtyard. It wasn't sunny but the sky showed no signs of a storm either.

"What is it?" I asked, knowing exactly this would be about my vision.

"I want to know what your vision is about Alice. I'm tired of you lying to me about it. You know I love you and that you can tell me anything; we have been together for over 60 years." He would not give up on this.

"Jasper, can't you just trust that I know what I'm doing and that everything will be okay?" I looked in his eyes with sincerity.

"No, Alice, I can't. I would understand if it was a good vision. A wedding, celebration, any other event of that kind, but it isn't. I can't just believe everything will turn out okay if someone we are close to will be in that much pain." He tried to contain his frustration but some people around us were staring.

He sped off, thankfully. I didn't know what to say to him. I hated lying to him but it was going to happen no matter what and I really didn't feel like telling my mate that he was going to fall in love with his brothers girlfriend. Oh no! I felt a vision coming on, I tried to fight it, not wanting to once again see my husband looking at another girl with complete love filling his eyes.

**Vision**

_"Hey, Ally, I'm back," An unfamiliar man greeted me as he walked in the backdoor of a house that I'd never been in._

_"Hi, Alexander," I said walking up to him. "Did you enjoy your hunt?" _

_"I sure did. But I know something we could do that I would enjoy more," He whispered, pulling me into a kiss. I felt pure love and happiness. But how could I love him when I was so in love with Jasper._

_"Alex, as much as I would enjoy 'other activities', we have to finish packing for Alaska," I said, pulling away from him. "You know Carlisle and Esme hate when we delay. Now go pack."_

_"Okay, okay. Fine, but only if you promise I can use my gift on the humans one last time before we leave." He pleaded. Gift?_

_"Oh, whatever. Don't scare them too bad, it isn't nice. And fly there, it saves time," I said annoyed. _

_He then transformed into a bird and flew out the window. So I was going to be mated with a vampire who was able to shape-shift? That was a nice gift, I guess. I looked down at some tickets in my hand. I was in Spain? I should have been able to tell he was Spanish by his accent._

**End of vision**

"Are you okay?" The voice belonged to Jessica Stanley. Either she noticed I was staring into space or she was asking about the argument Jasper and I just had. She was always trying to get dirt on us so I guessed it was the second reason. "Yeah, I'm fine, thanks."

"Are you sure? Jasper looked pretty upset. If you want to talk I'm here for you, even if we aren't all that close." So I was right, of course.

"Thanks Jessica, but really, everything is okay. Jasper is just a bit touchy because our camping trip was canceled over the weekend, it's not a big deal, Carlisle can take him next weekend." I didn't want her to have any reason to pay extra attention to us.

"Okay, well remember, I'm a good listener." She was a really determined girl.

"Maybe we could get together some time for a trip to the mall." I decided to give the girl some hope.

"Okay, I'll be looking forward to it," She said, walking away.

I decided to skip math. I walked over to Esme's black Saturn and got in. With Edward gone on such short notice we didn't have time to buy a car that was less attention-seeking, so we were using Esme's until tomorrow afternoon. Carlisle would buy us a blue Toyota corolla to drive to school tomorrow.

I needed time alone to think. How did I feel about having a new mate. I felt so much love between us in that vision. I was no empath like Jasper, but I always felt the feelings of the people in my visions. And there was no doubt in my feelings for um, Alex.

I wanted to be with Jasper so badly, he was everything to me. But now that I 'met' Alex, I wanted to be with him also, even if my love for him was overshadowed by my love for Jasper.

I got out of the truck and ran home.

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**Hoped you all enjoyed, sorry it was short, but I think it was worth it. Do you?**

**Review and let me know, please! I will update again soon, I promise. **


	5. Family

**Alice's Pov**

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I ran as fast as I could. Esme would hear me soon and wonder what was going on.

I was about 100 yards from the house. I heard Esme at the back porch. She was waiting for me. I wondered if she could smell me yet. I didn't want her to be frightened by a strangers fast approach so I jumped over the creek and came out of the trees.

"Alice, honey, what are you doing here? Is everything O.K?" I saw the concern in her eyes. The look on my face must have been giving away my thoughts.

"Mom, I... I had a vision." I had to get it out. I could trust Esme better than anyone with this secret.

"Come inside, I'll call the school." Esme waved me in. I approached carefully, feeling very apprehensive.

"Is someone in danger? Is it Edward?"

"Esme, it's okay. Nobody is in danger, I just have a problem."

If I was human I would have been crying. The thought of telling Esme that soon, Jasper would leave me made me want to throw up. I kind of wished I could right now.

"Well that's good. I mean nobody being hurt, of course. Why don't you just tell me your problem, honey," Esme said sweetly.

"Okay, you see... I had a vision, when Edward first decided to leave Bella, of her sleeping. She whined and was telling Edward she doesn't love him. Edward seen that and was fine with it. When the family meeting was called I got another part to that vision..." I looked up at Esme, she was nodding in a reassuring way.

"Go on, Sweetie," she said tenderly.

"Someone came into the vision, they whispered to Bella 'I love you' and kissed her on the forehead," I started to dry sob now, it was too hard to explain my vision, the heart shattering image I had seen over 20 times now.

She pulled me closer to her and rubbed small circles into my back. "Alice, honey, it's okay," Esme soothed me. "I'm here, calm down." After a few minutes I did calm down a bit and the shaking slowly declined.

"Mom... the person in the vision... it was Jasper!" I screamed his name loudly. I regretted saying it, it hurt so bad.

"Oh, Alice... Oh my g- p-please tell me-"

"It's true, Esme! I can't believe it either!" I shouted. The look on her face was a mixture of shock, disappointment and... anger?

"How could he do that to you!?" She was appalled.

"Mom, listen to me; you can't say anything. Not to anyone, promise?" I looked in her eyes as she nodded.

We sat there for a couple minutes. I was thinking about Alexander. Should I tell her? Would she think of me the same way she did Jasper? I wasn't sure if throwing this drama at her all at once was selfish, so I decided to wait a couple days.

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**I am so sorry! You all must hate me terribly, well for the few people out there who may care about this story. First waiting a week to update, then this pathetically short chapter. And I can't apologize enough but I promise I will update 3 very nice, detailed chapters this week. The story will go a bit slower from here, I just needed to get past all of that really because it's not even the juicy part of the story, it's the development. So I really appreciate reviews and the more reviews I get the faster I update, and I would appreciate actual reviews. Like Mac J... THANK YOU SO MUCH! Your review was perfect! Also, check out my other story, Gifted. It's REALLY good.**


	6. Fortune Teller

**Hope you all enjoyed the last chapter, please tell your friends about this story, reviews help SO MUCH! I would like to thank Barbiedoll123, TheDemonOfTwilight, and Istealurfrenchfries for reviewing every chapter so far! I appreciate it!**

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**Alice POV**

I couldn't just pack up my things and leave, I wasn't like Edward. He had no problem with being separated from us for a period of time. I, on the other hand, loved my family too much. I came here because when I had that vision of them, I knew we would be happy. And we were... up until now. But I have Alex to think about now. What if I didn't go looking for him? Hmm... what if? I searched the future looking for something.

**Vision**

_"We must execute him," Caius hissed at Marcus._

_"Calm, brother. We have time to discuss this," Aro said simply._

_"Discuss?! He cares for Alice," He said my name in disgust. "If he cares about one of the Cullen's for whatever reason and he refuses to destroy them then he has no use to us. He will become affiliated with them and make their clan grow, is that what you want?" Caius fumed._

_"Hmm... I suppose you're right. We'll give him one more chance." Aro turned to Felix, "Bring him in."_

**End of vision**

I was surprised. Not because he was in the Volturi, he did have a very useful gift. And not even because Aro and Caius were talking of our annihilation as if it were an everyday topic, I knew they wanted Edward, Jasper, and I on the guard. But because he wouldn't help them with it. I was pleased with the fact that he cared for me.

Then I remembered what else they were discussing... Alexander's death. Just thinking about it made me feel extreme anger and sorrow. He's my true mate, I have to protect him. I thought of how to do this. If I had Bella around more often, maybe Jasper's feelings would shift to her. I decided I would tell everyone tonight. Then I would bring Bella over everyday, claiming I wanted to spend time with her before I leave. I could have Esme keep Bella around as often as possible. If Bella was here Jasper might heal faster, I hoped.

When would I leave? I definitely didn't want my departure to be sudden, like Edward's was. It was Monday, and Thanksgiving break started next week. Perfect.

**Bella POV**

I spent the whole day with Emmett, mostly crying or rolling my eyes at Emmett's infamous human jokes. Of course one time I completely forgot how indestructible he was and threw the remote at him. It broke into plastic splinters and one of the battery's exploded, causing acid to leak out of it.

"Bella, it's almost 4:30, Charlie gets home at 5:00, right?" Emmett asked, holding a cookie.

"Uuh, yeah, um... what are you doing with the cookie?" I asked slowly. He didn't eat human food.

"Oh, right. I was going to try this if you don't mind," Emmett explained with a grin.

"Okay, but why?"

"I just want to see what it tastes like," He shrugged.

I tilted my head to the side and gave him a confused look then laid back down. Charlie would be here soon; about fifteen, twenty minutes. I heard spitting in the kitchen. Why was Emmett only satisfied when he was challenging someone or something, even a cookie?

"Em, you okay?" I asked, knowing he would be fine. I was more worried about the mess that was now in my kitchen.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just got cookie everywhere, I'll clean it," he said walking back into the living room. "I guess I'm gonna go soon."

"Alright, and make sure you clean that before you go," I said getting up and walking over to him. We hugged and I thanked him while burying my face into his chest. The cold reminded me of Edward.

"Will do," He said letting go of me and heading back for the kitchen.

I went to get my backpack from the couch and turn off the T.V when Emmett screamed behind me, causing me to get scared and fall. I felt him catch me. He didn't make any jokes, he just laughed. His phone starting vibrating on the coffee table and I handed it to him angrily.

"Hello?**" **Pause. "Yeah, let me ask her."

"Alice wants me to bring you over, you okay with that?"

I sighed, "Sure, I'll call Charlie."

"Alright, we'll be there soon," he said before hanging up.

A minute later we were out the door. Charlie was hesitant at first; not sure if going over there was the best thing for me. I persuaded him into agreeing.

As I got into the passengers seat I remembered, Emmett was the fastest driver of all the Cullen's. He laughed evil-like and sped off. I felt nauseous when I looked at the speedometer. 175. I thought I was going to puke but, luckily, I didn't.

Emmett threw me over his shoulder and ran up to the door. I knew better than to hit him. We walked in and everyone was sitting at the dining room table. They all looked confused. Emmett and I sat down. I wondered what this was about. Was it Edward?

"Okay, now that everyone is here, I would like to tell you all about my vision," Alice said, she looked stressed. "I had a vision of myself, and I was in Spain. I was coming to visit you all and-"

"Wait, why weren't we with you?" Carlisle budged in.

"Dad, please, wait until I finish," She told him. He nodded and she continued.

"So, you see, I left. I didn't take any of you with me." She looked at Esme for reassurance. Jasper was looking up at her, confused.

"I um, I wasn't there alone, though. There was a vampire named Alexander and-"

"Alice, what are you saying?" Jasper asked accusingly. He stood up fast and the chair smashed halfway through the wall. Alice looked at him ashamed.

Was this actually happening? Was Alice cheating on Jasper?

**Jasper's Pov**

"We were mates," Alice blurted out, looking up at me with a guilty face.

"No! Alice, No! How could you?!" I roared.

I started throwing things. Esme took Bella out of the room. Emmett and Carlisle came over to calm me.

"Where is he? I'll kill him!" I growled.

"He doesn't even know, I have never met him before," Alice murmured in front of me, looking down. I pushed Emmett's hand off my shoulder and ran through the back door. I didn't want to be near anyone. I followed the scent of an elk.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

A day passed and I calmed down immensely. I lost count but I'm pretty sure I had close to 20 animals in the night. I sat down on a boulder and finally took time to think about the situation.

How was I supposed to live without Alice? She was everything to me, but apparently the feelings weren't mutual. I don't understand what happened. We were happy, at least I was. I felt love coming off of her all the time, had she been thinking about _the other guy._ I still don't understand why she felt heartbreak during her vision. Maybe it was me, maybe she saw me trying to go on without her. I can't fathom a future without her, knowing she's with someone else, I wouldn't be able to do it. I punched through the rock and started crushing it to pebbles.

Then I remembered what she said while I was throwing a fit. They never actually met. She doesn't control the future, she doesn't know what she did to make him her mate. So how could I be blaming her? We could always change the vision.

I got up and made my way back home, considering my options.

I could kill him, but Alice would never help me find where he was, whether she loved him or not, she was too kind. Maybe we could leave, go to another country, and then they would never find each other. Was Alice willing to do that, or did she want to be with him. I stopped running and kicked down a tree. That was impossible, right? Her choosing him over me. I shook the thought out of my mind and started running again. I made it to the backyard in 4 minutes. I went far; almost Canada.

She was waiting for me. I went up to her and kissed her forehead before walking into the house and up to my study. Not even a minute later she was standing outside of the door. "Jasper, can I come in?" she asked.

I walked over to the door and unlocked it, not wanting to speak. I was afraid I might start yelling.

"Jazz, please understand that I never asked for this. I love you, I didn't want to be with someone else, the vision was random."

"I know, that's why we're going to change it. We can do it, no matter how long it takes, or how hard it gets." I put my hands on her waist and analyzed her feelings, but she pulled back. She felt regret.

"I've tried. Believe me, I have. I thought of everything. I know it hurts, but you have to accept it," she said looking deeply in my eyes, she still had her hands on my shoulders. I grabbed one and kissed it.

"No we don't, Alice. If we put in the effort, we can make it happen. You're worth it, I'd do anything for you," I practically whined.

She pursed her lips and shook her head. "Jasper, we will be much happier this way, I promise. You may not see it now, but we will. It might be weird, even scary, to think about, but we'll get through this. In the end everything will be much better, better than it was before we even came to Forks. Trust me," she said before letting go of me. She kissed my cheek and to the door, then paused. "I-I'll be leaving in a uh- a week."

I was just frozen, staring blankly in front of me, feeling absolute heartbreak. I fell to the floor and pushed myself against the wall and sobbed hardly.

A week? That's all I had with my beautiful, amazing, talented angel? Gosh I loved her. She really was my angel. She pulled me from the hardest time in my existence, brought me from the dark and showed me the light. It hurt to think about. I snapped a small stand just thinking about another man with my wife in his arms.

How did Alice think I could be remotely happy without her? I would give up everything for her, I would die for her. Then I realized that giving up everything included giving up her. I loved her and wanted her to be happy, so if she would be without me then I had to let her be.

_If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to you, it was never yours in the first place._

She would never come back to me.

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**What do you think? I finally have a Beta reader, saxophoneplayaa152! Thank you! Please review, it means so much. And I want to know what everyone thinks about Alice not willing to try to change the future with Jasper. And I didn't write it but somewhere during Bella's POV last chapter Alice told Esme about Alexander so she was not surprised, and she now knows everything.**


	7. Letting Go

**Here you go, not too eventful but please read the bold from now on (if you by some chance read this) because I know some people don't and sometimes it has information for the story in the ending bold.**

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**Esme POV**

Jasper had been in his study sobbing and breaking things for almost 6 hours now. I hated to see one of my children in pain, I'd been fighting off the urge to go see him ever since he got back from hunting, but I knew he needed to let this out. I was about to go see if I could help but my phone rang.

It was Edward! Finally. "Hi, Eddy."

"Hi, mom. How are you and everyone?" he asked.

How was I supposed to answer? Was it okay to tell him? I panicked for a moment then he spoke again.

"I suppose you all still see Bella?" He sounded concerned.

"Yes, it's only been 3 days though, she's been over once. She's here now, Emmett brought her over, he stayed at home with her yesterday," I replied, relieved I didn't have to talk about Jasper.

"Esme, I'm sorry. For everything; placing Bella as a burden to you all, leaving you, and not taking your advice as my mother. Could you please forgive me and watch out for Bella? I know you can take care of her better than anyone," he begged. I loved Bella, of course I would.

"Darling, of course I forgive you, and Bella isn't a burden. She's family, she's my daughter and of course I will. I love you," I replied.

"Thank you, mom. For everything, for always being there for me. I love you, too," Edward said, sounding emotional. Maybe he misses home? I didn't know if that was a good thing.

"You're welcome, sweetie. Do you know where you're going?"

"Yes, actually, I do. I'm thinking France. I haven't been there since you and Carlisle married in Clichy, and it's a beautiful, quiet place," he informed me. "Maybe you can visit soon? I'll be staying in our house on top of the hill, so there is plenty room."

"Sounds like a plan to me," I said, then I heard a loud smash.

"What was that?" Edward asked quickly.

"Oh gosh. Emmett and Rose. He dared her to take apart all 3 of her cars. You know how she gets about her babies," I lied.

"Yeah, she can get possessive. Well I'll call you when I get there. Goodbye, and can you remind them that Bella is sleeping, please?" he said.

"I will, goodbye dear." I said before hitting end and running up the stairs.

"Jasper, dear, can I come in?" I asked tenderly. No answer.

All well, he was smashing things, I had to help him calm down. I easily broke past the lock and pushed open the door.

I assessed the mess. There was one huge hole and 4 smaller ones planted in all the walls. His main desk was bashed down the middle. All 3 of the large bookcases were pushed down and snapped, that was what caused the bang, no doubt. The leather chair had stuffing piled next to it. Then I saw him. He was huddled in a corner holding his knees tightly to his chest. His hair was everywhere and his clothes were ripped all over him.

"Oh, baby, come here," I said, walking to him with my arms extended. I sat down next to him and he put his head on my shoulder and continued dry sobbing.

"Oh, my boy. Calm down. Shhhh, it's okay. I know you're hurting, and I can't imagine how difficult this is for you, but can you calm down for me? I'd like to talk to you." I gently ran my fingers through his hair.

"I-I'm sorry, I just love her s-so much," he murmured. His expression was heart shattering. He had a huge frown that deepened when he screamed. His eyes were dark, despite hunting just 6 hours ago and he had a yellowish color to him. It was horrifying what a bad temper could do to you.

"She loves you too. I won't sugarcoat this... you need to accept the fact that she's leaving. You two will always be close, you're just not meant for each other."

"I know, Esme, I know. But once you find your mate you're supposed to stand by them no matter what," he whined.

"Honey, I'm sure vampires have broken up before. You don't always find your true love the first time around," I said.

"No, you're right, you don't. Alice saved me from _the first time around. _I can never love anyone as much as I love her, it's impossible."

I contemplated telling him everything. How he would love again, how he would be happy. But I made a promise, and I intended on keeping it.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, but you'll see. Someday you'll find the right one, she's out there, Jazz, you just have to be willing to accept her. And you also need to accept the fact that Alice was your savior, not your keeper. I think you should thank her for that and tell her you want to remain in her life as her friend. She would like that. It's the perfect way to say goodbye, you know, to Alice your wife, and say hello to Alice your best friend." I thought he would freak out at the last sentence but he sat still. He wasn't screaming anymore.

He had his head hung between his legs. He looked like he would never be able to cope with this, but then he said something that gave me hope. "I guess it would be. She's leaving in a week, you know. I should probably get some closure before she goes."

"Yes, that would be great. And I know you just went hunting, but your temper seemed to have put that to waste. Bella is still here, if you're hungry well, that's just a heads up." I said before kissing the top of his head. and leaving.

"Thank you," I heard him say before I closed the door.

**Alice's POV**

I curled up on a recliner in the corner of the room as Bella slept in my bed, Edwards would have been too much for her. I wished I could dream, I didn't even have any human memories to look back on.

Bella started crying for the 3rd time tonight, dreaming about Edward again. It got really bad so I decided to wake her.

"Bella... Bella, wake up. It's only a dream, It's me, Alice," I said, shaking her lightly.

"Edward ple- what? Oh... sorry, Alice. What time is it?" she asked, sniffing.

I looked at the clock. "It's almost 3:30, you should go back to sleep," I suggested.

"Yeah," she said, already halfway back into her slumber.

I heard someone outside the window and went to see. It was Jasper. _He must be going to hunt_, I thought.

I felt so bad, ever since I explained to him that we couldn't be together he'd been cooped up in his study, demolishing everything.

I sat back down in my chair and thought about my trip.

I scanned my memory of the ticket. Our departure location was Mostoles. The closest city to Toledo, which is an area that is not very inhabited. It sits on a river and has a few people who prefer to live in cabins all along one end of it. It's a forest, only has people in one small corner, and is located in the cloudiest place of Spain. Sounds perfect for vampires. So I would start there, Mostoles, Spain.

I wondered how long it would take. The date on the ticket was almost 75 years from now, so that didn't help me much. I figured if I kept having visions that I could find him within 7-8 months, if he was the traveling type. If he stayed in one place it would be easier, so 1-3 months. It all depended on if he was still in Spain and where in Spain he was.

But I also wanted time to get over Jasper. I needed to be able to love Alex freely, not burden him with the job of dealing with my feelings for someone else. I could spend some time there alone. A year and a half, two years should be enough. We had all the time in the world, 2 years wasn't a lot to give up for a perfect eternity.

I reached over and picked up my favorite novel from the stand beside me.

I read for about 2 hours and finally finished. I could've gone faster but I prefer to not rush through what I'm reading. I set the book down as I heard Jasper enter the house. It was 5:28 and we had school tomorrow, I would wake Bella in half an hour.

Jasper came up the stairs and knocked. I opened the door and stepped outside of the room. "Hey," I whispered. I didn't want this to be awkward.

"I want to apologize. I felt like you belonged to me and I acted as if I owned you. I'm so sorry, and I want you to know that I will never try to keep you from what makes you happy again. Can you forgive me and, I may not deserve it, but assure me that we can always be close?" he asked, sweetly.

I felt so overwhelmed at his words. I was happy and hopeful because I knew everything with Jasper would turn out fine, even without some silly vision. His words made me realize how great our relationship would be after all of this... chaos passed.

I also felt guilty, though. Jasper is giving me up so I can be with Alex, so I can be happy with my true mate. But when I saw him with Bella, I wasn't willing to do the same. I tried to keep him away from the person he was meant to be with. I felt horrible and selfish.

"Oh, of course. You have no need to apologize. And I promise that we will always be the very best of friends," I assured him.

"Thank you, can I give you a hug?" he asked, hesitantly.

I chuckled and wrapped my arms around him. He put his arms around me and breathed in deeply. After almost 15 minutes of just hugging I finally, and reluctantly, pulled away.

"Will you be going to school tomorrow?"

"Yes, one last time. I have to spread the news of me moving with my parents in... hmm, Virginia? What do you think?" I asked.

"Sounds good to me," he replied, forcing a quick smile.

"Alright, it's almost 6. I have to wake Bella." I let go of his hand and turned back into the room.

I heard him walk away and enter the bathroom. I decided to give Bella a few more minutes of sleep while I got Jasper and I clothes for today. My spirits grew a little when I realized I got to dress Bella.

I immediately ran to my closet and pulled out the bags of clothes I'd bought for an occasion like this. I was proud of myself for being prepared.

I picked out a blue and white striped long sleeve shirt, light grey skinny jeans, a black jacket, and black Vans. Bella'd brought a jacket and shoes but she'd have to deal with my items, they were far more fashionable. I stopped before I got to the jewelry, she would never give in to that. She hated accessories.

"Bella, wake up," I sang, turning on the light and bouncing lightly on the edge of the bed. She groaned.

"Oooh, let me do it, please?" Emmett begged as he walked into the room. I nodded and gestured 'go ahead' with my hand.

"Woah, Bella! You look good naked!" he roared.

"No!" Bella's eyes popped open and she scrambled to pull the blankets over her. I was laughing hysterically, Emmett could barely stand.

"Hahaha, Bella y-your face... hahaha," I said, she blushed a bright tomato red. I couldn't bring myself to feel bad, it was too funny, the look on her face. She rolled her eyes and stalked off to the bathroom.

After a high five and a couple more laughs between Emmett and I, he went back downstairs, still grinning widely.

"I'll leave your clothes on the bed, Esme is cooking you breakfast," I told her through the door.

"Thanks," she said, still sounding angry. I just chuckled and raced out of the room to bring Jasper his things. I almost walked right into the bathroom where he was showering but remembered that there were sort of... boundaries, now. I set the clothes on the floor and walked away with a little frown.

After Bella ate her breakfast and everyone was dressed it was time to go. "Alice, these aren't my boots. I need my-"

"You will wear those," I ordered, giving her a look that said, "don't make me do this the hard way". We all got into the Toyota and drove off.

When we got to school I had to stop myself from grabbing Jasper's hand. He noticed and gave me a quick smile. I walked to U.S History which I had by myself, well without the rest of my family. Bella had English, Jasper and Emmett had Calculus, and Rose had economics. Jessica Stanley walked in and I knew at once how to have everyone in the school know that I was leaving and Jasper and I were broken apart by lunch, no doubt. I put on a glum face, which I already had halfway placed there.

Jessica smiled when she saw me and walked over. "Hey, Alice. Is something wrong?"

"I'm just a little disappointed, today is my last day here," I said with a big sigh.

"That's so sad, why?" she asked, trying to sound casual, but I could tell she was eager for the gossip.

"My parents want me to go stay with them in Virginia for a while, I'll probably be there until college," I informed her.

"Oh, that's too bad. I guess that means you and Jasper will be dating long distance?" She tried too hard to look curious but she looked hopeful, and she was a horrible actress. She wanted a chance with Jasper.

"No, actually, we decided to break up. We just aren't meant for each other," I told her. She lit up at that.

"Well, I'll miss you. We can always chat on the phone or something. But anyway, talk to you later," she said with a wave. She was awfully rude, rushing off after getting the dirt. I didn't care though, she was annoying.

The rest of the day went by fairly quick. I still sat with Jasper in ELA, science, and Art but we didn't cuddle like usual.

At the end of the day I went to the office and Esme was there getting some paperwork Edward and I needed at our new schools. The story with Edward was that he went to live with his older brother in Canada. As I walked out of the doors of Forks high school I tried not to get upset at how real all of this was becoming.


	8. Sunday

**Sorry it took so long, and I apologize in advance if it sucks, I have horrible writers block. I never thought it was a real thing, just an excuse for laziness, but believe me, I've never worked harder. I also just got a new puppy and I'm trying to get him and my other dog to get along so he's taking up a lot of time. I also have to write for my other story so I'm not sure when I'm going to update, it could take a week.**

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**Bella's Pov**

I opened my eyes and was only vaguely aware of where I was. I wasn't home. I rubbed my eyes and took in the surroundings of Alice's room. Of course I'd be here. I spent the night. As I searched my memory of last night, trying to remember the reason for why I stayed, I realized it was Sunday. I'd been dreading this day for a week.

I laid there thinking, but trying hard not to. I gave up, eventually.

"Bella, can I come in?" I heard Jasper say. He was holding something, a book? "O-of course... Jas-Jasper... t-take a-a seat." I managed to sputter out between sobs.

"How are _you?" _He asked. I couldn't say a word. Just cry and cry, on and on.

"Sorry, that was a stupid question, huh?" I didn't want to make Jasper feel bad by not answering so I gathered all the dignity and preservation I could. "What's that, in your hand?" I said, my voice breaking in almost every word. I felt pathetic.

"It's a book that has recently become my favorite, while trying to deal with Alice leaving. I figured since we were going through the same thing that maybe this book could help you too." I looked at the cover, _A Peasants Dream. _I wondered what that could be about.

"Thanks, Jasper, that's really nice. If you don't mind me taking it home, could you leave it next to my bag over there," I pointed to the stand by the door. "Sorry, to rush you out but I would like to shower." I looked up at Jasper, he looked content, even in his current situation that was so alike to mine.

"It's okay, Bella. If you need anything, let me know." Jasper got up and walked out of the room, leaving the book by my bag.

Before Jasper got here I had no intention of showering but after talking to him, even that small conversation, I felt better. I didn't think I would be crying for at least a few more hours and I wanted to take a shower to wash away the tears and refresh myself.

I jumped in Alice's shower, of course all the Cullen's had their own shower which they rarely used.

I started to think about Jasper and Alice. I knew what Jasper was going through, even if our partners reasons for leaving were not the same, the pain we felt was.

Or was it? As impossible as it seemed to admit, Jasper had to be feeling worse. He and Alice had been together for over sixty years, Edward and I for only one. I felt pathetic, crying over my ex-boyfriend while Jasper, who has married his wife dozens of times, is managing to hold himself together.

When I got out I did feel a bit better. I put on yet another one of Alice's expensive outfits and went downstairs.

Esme was waiting in the kitchen with a grilled cheese sandwich and homemade chicken soup. The warm, happy feeling the small gesture gave me reminded me that I was still alive, instead of dead and sent to my own personal hell.

When I was finished eating, Alice waved me over to the living room where she and Jasper sat, watching T.V.

"I have a gift for my 2 very best friends," she chirped. Oh, great. A gift.

When neither one of us said anything in response she handed us tickets.

"I got you a tour of a museum. The one on James street in Seattle. You'll learn about all sorts of things. Dinosaurs, early civilization, war, the great depression, and modern day advancements. I thought it was something you two might enjoy," she explained.

"Thanks, Alice, but I'm not really up for social activity. School kind of takes up my patience for that stuff," I said, trying to hand back my ticket to no avail.

"You are going to have fun, take it," she insisted, tapping her head. She would know.

**Jasper's POV (a few hours later)**

Alice must have known I was watching her because she looked up at the window that I was standing at. She was packing a few things and getting ready to go. I ran out to the driveway, grabbing my hat on the way down.

"Hey," she said, acting as if I hadn't just been staring at her like some kind of psychotic stalker.

"Hey," I said. I held out the hat, "just came to give this to ya."

She reached out and took the hat. "Thanks," she said, tucking it under her arm. She took the scarf from around her neck and placed it in my hands.

"Thanks," I replied. She kissed my cheeks and we hugged for a while in silence.

"Don't push her away," she told me.

"Who" I asked. She just pursed her lips and got into her car. She probably meant whoever my mate was, and if I ever found her.

As I watched her drive away it took everything I had not to run after her and beg her not to leave. But I let her go.

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**Sorry it's so short. I promise the next one will be very long and as interesting as possible. Also, don't you dare go thinking that I forgot about our good friend Jake, he'll be coming around. The question is, will he be a wolf yet? Vote on the poll and decide! And I also totally made up that book, I couldn't find one that fit my needs. You will see what I mean.  
**


	9. Theories

**Bella's POV**

Stares: that's the only interaction I had with humans anymore. Now that Alice was gone I only had one class with any of my friends, and that was gym with Jasper; he and I aren't even close, and I am horrible in sports, but I am still thankful for that time of the day, which just so happens to be next period.

The bell rang and I rushed to gather my things and get to the locker room; Mr. Banner gave me a worried look that I did nothing to respond to except turn away. I changed my clothes and went to sit on the bleachers; I became panicked when Jasper wasn't sitting in our usual place, I'd been clinging to his presence for the past few days, and since we only were together in this class and when Esme invited me over, I felt overwhelmed with sadness. Finally, as I walked farther down, I found Jasper sitting two sections over from where he should be, relief washed over me.

"Hey," I murmured as I sat down next to him.

"Hello, Bella; how are you today?" Of course he asked just to be polite, he knew how I was feeling; I let my frustration take over my other feelings instead of answering.

"What about you?" I asked.

"Uncomfortable," he answered, instead of showing me, I realized I must be too close so I slid a bit farther away; he looked at me confusingly then after a few moments he seemed to get it.

"No, it's not you, I just don't like the fact that Alice isn't here to watch out for me. I guess I was way too dependent on her," he said.

"No you weren't, I would feel the same way," I told him; I've had this theory about his thirst for a while and I wanted to see if I was right, "Is it as hard for you when you're not around the others?"

He sat for a minute and then looked at me suspiciously, "No, it isn't. How did you-"

"I had a theory. I wanted to share it with you for a while, but Edward said not to bother and that it was wrong," I said. He had a huge smile plastered on his face. Jaspers' reaction made me feel proud, unlike Edwards' that had made me feel foolish.

"Bella, this is incredible! Thank you! I mean, how did you even come up with that?" he asked incredulously.

"Well, Edward was telling me about the time after we first met, and the weeks in which he was gone; he'd said that he and Emmett were talking and while Emmett was thinking of his singer that he felt his lust. I figured that if he felt everyone's lust, you probably do too - you are the empath," I explained.

"Yeah, Jasper the empath. I wonder why Carlisle never came to this conclusion; I wonder if he'll be upset that you figured out something that he couldn't," he said with a wink. And then I actually laughed, not a deep laugh, but a real one; I hadn't done that in a while. It was odd how comfortable we were in each other's company whereas before we avoided one another.

"Maybe, but I know he'll be happy for you. Alice would be, too," I told him, "I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinki-"

"It's okay, I need to talk about her," he said, I just nodded my head, feeling guilty at how insensitive I was; he noticed this, "really, it's fine and you don't have to feel guilty."

Coach Clapp ordered everyone to start a game of dodge-ball, Oh great, I thought. "Don't worry... I got your back," Jasper whispered as he passed me.

Thankfully he kept true to his word and made sure I wasn't hit once; eventually Mike noticed this and tried to do the same, which only made more balls come my way due to the fact that everyone liked to hit him. The game ended and when I went back to the locker room to change, Jessica and Lauren looked at me then started whispering. I wanted to ask them why they hated me so much, and why they couldn't just leave me alone, but I didn't have the courage to say anything, my cheeks got hot and I felt self-conscious.

When I got home Charlie was there, I didn't know he had the day off, "Hey, Bells."

"Hey, Dad, you didn't have work today?" I asked him.

"Nope, I decided to take a personal day, Jake and Billy are coming over," he told me. Wonderful, now I can be begged to date Jake, I sighed at the thought of the conversation that was about to occur.

"Really? Is that just for the sake of spending time with friends, or is it an attempt at getting me with Jake?" I asked, a bit rudely.

"He's a good kid. Besides, I'm not trying to have you two married. One... date wouldn't be so horrible," he replied. I didn't understand why he still wanted us together, I'm single... isn't that what a father wants his daughter to be? I guess in small towns you have to pair up your children early if you want them to have a good husband or wife, but that still doesn't explain why he didn't want me to be with Edward.

"I just broke up with Edward. Can't you at least let me get over him before you go match-making? Also, I want to know why you never liked me going out with Edward, he's just as good as Jake," I said, "remember when you told me how upset it makes you that people talk about them?"

"Geez, I don't know. I just didn't like you two as a couple. Maybe it's because I know Jake better. Anyway, they'll be here in 20 minutes. Should I order mild or medium wings?" he asked. When he changed the subject like that it meant we were getting into emotional or personal territory; neither of us liked to talk about things like that with each other.

A few minutes after the food showed up so did Billy and Jake; Billy looked just like he usually did, but I couldn't say the same for Jake. He'd cut his hair, grew at least half a foot, and he was super buff, it was odd to see him looking so differently.

"Hey Jake," I greeted him as he pushed his dad through the door.

"Hi," he replied, he was smiling his usual big, goofy smile, until he walked over for a hug. He got two feet from me and the smile disappeared, replaced by a hostile look and he also started to shake a bit; I became uncomfortable and nervous, not wanting to touch him. Still, he forced himself to move forward, and when we touched his skin was burning hot.

I tried to avoid him for the evening but during half time he asked me if I could help him fry the fish that he'd brought, obviously I couldn't say no so we went to the kitchen; he immediately turned to me and it became clear that he wasn't worried about the food.

"Where were you today?" he asked angrily.

"School, why? And can you please back up?" I replied.

"You, uh, you hang out with the Cullens?" he asked, I scrunched my face in confusion, why was he being so... possessive? It reminded me of Edward, I rolled my eyes at that thought.

"That's really none of your business, why are you so interested in them anyway?" I asked in a rude manner, the more I talked, the louder I got, "there's no reason why y-"

"Remember the story about the cold ones?" That sentence took me by surprise.

No wonder he was being protective, he must believe that legend now, his next words confirmed my suspicions, "Stay away from them. You can't trust them, Bella."

I didn't say anything, just pushed my way past him back into the living room. Why would he randomly start to believe the tales?

* * *

**Read and Review, please. I'm extremely sorry it took me so long to update... you have no idea how hard it was to write this. I am FINALLY over my writers block so... expect better and more updates. :)**


	10. Wolfboy

**Bella POV**

The more I thought about Jake's episode last night, the more I thought about the legend of his tribe, he seemed very convinced that they were fake at the time. There had to be some reason as to why he felt differently. He said that the cold ones invaded Quileute land, and killed their women. There was the story about the woman sacrificing herself so her son could get away, but there was something about the son; he was somehow fighting against her, like he had some supernatural strength, but what could he be that could-

"Oh god," I whispered to myself, alone in my room. The boy was a wolf. Every part of the story was coming back to me and I remembered what Jake said about something called phasing.

Was it possible? Had Jacob turned into a wolf too? If he did, how long had he been like that? That sure explained why he believed the legends, he himself was proof enough. I decided to call him so that I could figure this whole thing out.

He picked up on the second ring, "Hey, Bella. You're not mad about last night, right?"

His voice was so innocent and pleading, I felt bad, even though I wasn't calling to scold him or anything.

"No, it's fine. I actually was wondering if we could hang out today, if that's alright?" I asked.

He paused for a moment, then sighed into the phone. "I don't know, I have a lot of work to do on the car, plus it's a school night. Can we hang together another day?"

"We can talk while you work. I have something important to ask you, please?" I begged.

"Oh, alright," he reluctantly agreed, "I guess you can come over for a little while."

"Thanks, I'll be there in 15 minutes," I told him.

I thought about grabbing my backpack, since it was Tuesday, for homework, and Jake had probably just got back from school. Thankfully, I didn't have school because of a flood in three of the buildings, but I didn't think I'd be at his house too long.

About 15 minutes later I pulled into the Blacks' driveway, Jake, usually overly-eager to see me, walked over at a normal walking-pace, this made me feel a bit sad, but I didn't let it show.

"Hi," he said, pulling me into a very warm hug, he noticed my discomfort and pulled away, "sorry, I think I might be sick."

"Oh, well I hope you get better soon," I replied as if I didn't have any other theories about his temperature.

"So what was it you wanted to talk about?" he asked idly as we walked to his makeshift garage.

I sat down on one of his chairs before answering while he also made himself comfortable by pulling a stool over to the hood of his rabbit.

"You remember last spring when we were walking on the beach together? You were telling me a legend about your tribe," he sprang his head up, and when I raised my eyebrows in question he tried to put up a normal facade, but he didn't fool me.

"Y-yeah, why?" he asked, trying to be nonchalant.

"Jake, don't treat me like I'm stupid," I said, taking a risk of seeming crazy, "you suddenly believe in that legend, and I think I know why."

"You don't know anything!" he yelled at me.

My jaw hung open is disbelief, he never acted like this, he must've surprised himself with this behavior also as he, too, had his mouth open in surprise. "I'm so sorry, Bella, I have no idea why I did that."

I pulled myself together so that I could get the information I wanted, "It's okay, I shouldn't be invading your privacy. I just need to know if I'm right, and I think you know what I'm talking about," I said, "why do you believe in the legend?" I asked slowly.

"You know I can't say anything, but..." he started carefully, "I think your suspicions are correct."

I gasped loudly. "Jake you're a w-" I managed to scream out before he placed a hand over my mouth.

He gave me a daring look. "Don't. Say. IT. My dad's friends are here, and they don't know."

I pushed his hand off, "sorry, I just can't believe it; my best friend is a..." I stopped myself there.

"It's not like you're new to this kind of thing," he said irritated.

"Yeah, I know, but this seems different somehow," I told him, he rolled his eyes at me.

"Whatever. Anyway, Sam Uley is having a barbeque Friday night, you wanna go with me?" he asked very politely, as if the previous conversation never happened.

"Sure."

Instead of leaving after Jake confirmed my suspicions, I stayed for another hour and a half; without Charlie pressuring me, being with Jake was comfortable and effortless, we never ran out of things to talk about, when I finally did get back home Charlie was there.

"Hey, Bells; I heard you went to Jake's house," he said when I walked into the kitchen where he was making a sandwich.

"Yeah, we had fun," I told him, "do you want me to make you some dinner?"

He looked pointedly at the ham sandwich on his plate, "no thanks, I'm good. What did you guys do?"

"Just talked for a while. His car is coming along nicely." I felt Charlie's expectations creeping up on me again.

"Yeah, I saw it a few weeks ago. Well, I'm gonna go watch the game," he said before leaving the room.

* * *

**Just wanted to do a short chapter on Jake.  
**


	11. Wishing

**Bella POV**

**Dream**

_"Edward, please... don't go," I begged._

_"I don't love you, Bella," he said fiercely, "why can't you see that, you foolish human girl?"_

_I fell to the floor and sobbed furiously._

_"Not fair, not fair."_

**End of Dream**

"Not fair, not fair," I murmured as I woke up, it was still dark outside so I looked over to my alarm clock and it was only 5:37; I had a horrible headache, but my heart hurt more. Dreaming of Edward brought back all the horrible feelings that Jasper and Esme had been wiping away, even though they were his family they only brought happiness. Apparently the happiness was just hiding the feelings, not erasing them. I tried to fall back to sleep but failed miserably, I didn't even want to stay in bed; I felt confined underneath my thick blanket, with some effort, I pushed the covers off and lifted myself up.

I stood too fast and found myself feeling weak and dizzy but before I could sit down I fell, I groaned as I tried to pull myself back up, I felt pathetic. Edward was having fun somewhere, probably with another girl, and here I was falling all over the place because I had a dream about him. Finally, I got up and brushed myself off, I grabbed my toiletries bag and headed off to the bathroom, hoping a shower would make me feel a bit better.

After my shower was finished it was 6:15, Charlie was now awake and making himself breakfast.

"Mornin' Bells, how did you sleep?" he asked, noticing how early I'd been up today.

"Good, I'm just a bit ahead of the game today. What about you?" I asked in return.

"Good, good," he replied quietly.

I put some waffles into the toaster and poured myself a glass of orange juice, by the time I finished getting ready and had eaten breakfast I had a half hour until school. Since there was nothing else to occupy myself with I decided to watch T.V. until I had to leave, I took some Advil to relieve my headache and plopped myself on the couch.

When I did arrive at school there weren't many people there yet, I decided to wait in my truck for more people to come, but Mike saw me and made his way over. I sighed, hoping he might notice my annoyance and turn around. I really didn't want to have to deal with him today but, unfortunately, he kept walking towards me.

"Hey Bella, how are you?" he asked politely.

"I'm good, what about you?" I tried hard to avoid eye contact with him, hoping he might take that as a sign that I didn't want him there.

"I'm good. I just wanted to ask you something..." he hesitated, "since Cullen is gone, I was wondering if you wanted to go to a movie with me?"

I sighed heavily and rolled my eyes at his request, his face fell and, for once, I didn't feel bad about hurting his feelings.

"When will you understand, Mike? I am just not interested in you, especially after I _just_ broke up with my boyfriend. Can't you at least wait a while?" I was almost screaming at him. Of course, after I was done I felt horrible, he looked like he just witnessed a murder and he was going to be the next victim.

"I-I'm, sorry. I should've nev-"

"Stop. You have no reason to apologize, I do. I'm sorry for lashing out at you like that, I'm just not having a good day," I explained carefully to him. Why did he have to be such a pushover? Something which of course made me feel even worse.

"It's okay, and if you need to talk, I'm here for you," he said. _Here for me? _I just yelled at him and he is here for me? _Why do you have to be so rude, Isabella? Ever heard of manners?_ I nodded my head and grabbed my backpack. The first bell rang, thankfully, and I was relieved that I had an excuse to walk away.

The school day passed slowly, the morning had started sunny so the remaining Cullens weren't there but as the day continued a typical Forks fog settled on the town. Esme had called me at lunch to invite me over after school, an invitation I eagerly accepted, at the end of the day I texted Charlie telling him where I would be and headed on over.

"Hi, sweetie," Esme greeted me, pulling me into a hug.

"Hi Esme, I'm really glad you invited me over," I replied.

"Me too, but unfortunately I have to leave, something came up at work, Jasper will keep you company in the meantime," she said with a reassuring smile. Hanging out with Jasper wasn't so new to me anymore, but being alone with him was, we were always either at school or here with the rest of the Cullens.

"Sounds great, I guess I'll see you later," I said as she jumped into her car and drove off.

I turned around and went to walk up the stairs, "Hello, Bella," I gasped loudly; Jasper was standing a few feet behind me with his arms behind his back and a small smile on his face. My stomach did a little somersault, the kind it used to do when Edward smiled, _wait, what? Did I just compare Jasper to Edward? _I decided to blame my feelings on being scared. Jasper had to of noticed my feelings, but he didn't show any reaction to them.

I glared at him then replied sarcastically, "Hey, Michael Myers, thanks for sneaking up on me."

He chuckled, "no problem, Mrs. Alves."

"Who?" I asked.

"Halloween II, the lady that was drained of blood," he said expectantly.

"No idea who she is, I'm not a big fan of horror movies," I said almost apologetically, "but I like the way you fit our deaths together. I hang out with vampires so much, it's bound to happen right?" I said as if it was the most casual sentence ever.

He stared back at me, not knowing whether to laugh or take the statement seriously, "joking," I added.

"Right," he laughed.

We went inside and walked into the living room where Emmett and Rose were playing Call of Duty.

"Hey Bella. Up for a challenge?" Emmett asked me when we walked in.

"Uh, sure," I said hesitantly.

"Good luck," Rose scoffed, handing me the controller on her way to the garage.

I spent about an hour and a half playing Black Ops with Emmett and Jasper, the loser passing up the controller at the end of the round. Although they were Edwards's brothers, being with them never brought back painful memories; I actually felt like they were _my _siblings, not his.

"Ooookaaay, I think I'm done beating you guys for today. Now I'm gonna go play with my wife," Emmett announced with a wink, Jasper and I fake puked.

"I think I'm done, too. You wanna do something else?" I asked.

"Sure," Jasper said with a smile, "you're going to watch Halloween II."

I glared at him, "there's no way you're getting me to watch a horror film."

Sure enough, two hours later I was staring at the after-credits of that awful movie.

"That was horrible! It wasn't even scary," I said truthfully, for whatever reason, horror movies didn't affect me, "besides, don't you like western movies?"

"Horror and action are just better," he said quickly, he looked a bit sad and kinda... nervous.

"Why don't you like them?" I asked sympathetically, he looked up at me slowly.

"They just bring back painful memories," his eyes were locked with mine but he didn't seem like he was looking at me, more at his thoughts. "I don't really like to relive the cowboy thing; it reminds me of happy times with my family, which makes me sad because I can't ever see them again. I don't like reliving the soldier thing because... well that's just painful."

"I'm so sorry, I wish I could help somehow," I said quietly.

He pursed his lips, coming out of his thoughts, "it's fine, Bella. Just keep me focused on other things," he said, cheering up. "Your turn," he announced as he handed me the remote. I searched for Goodfellas, mob- type movies always being a favorite of mine for whatever reason, when Jasper saw my selection he raised his eyebrows in question, I returned with a shrug.

After the movie Esme called and said she'd be home in a few hours. I wanted to wait until she got back so I could talk to her for a while but it was getting late.

"Are you going to come over this weekend?" Jasper asked, walking me to the car.

"I don't know, I'm kind of busy, I have work and a barbeque over in La Push," I said.

Jasper stiffened a bit at the mention of La Push, "who will you be visiting?"

"Jacob, Jacob Black," as soon as I said it I regretted it, Jasper could know about Jake and try to talk me out of going.

"Oh," he said slowly, "have a nice time. I'll see you in school tomorrow."

"Yeah, see you tomorrow."

His reaction surprised me quite a bit, no doubt Edward would have tried to stop me, so why didn't Jasper? _Why do you keep comparing them, Bella. Not everyone has to measure up to Edward, you know._ When I got home I saw that Charlie left me a note: _I won't be home until after you're asleep. Love you, be safe._

"A night to myself, how wonderful," I said to myself sarcastically. A night alone meant a night of little distraction. After I did some laundry, ate dinner, and did my homework I was beat. When I went upstairs to go to bed I was expecting depression to wash over me, instead I just felt relaxed; being with Jasper did the exact opposite of what I thought it would. Instead of dwelling on the fact that all I had left of Edward was his brother, I was extremely grateful. But no matter what, I would still always wish for Edward to come back.

* * *

**Just when Bella develops weird feelings for Jasper she has to go and ruin everything by wishing for Edward to come back, Darn her! :) Tell me what you think, please. You wouldn't believe how hard it was to write this.**


	12. A Part Of The Pack

**Bella's POV (Friday after school, so we jumped from Wednesday night to Friday afternoon.) If some of you are wondering, this barbeque isn't a storytelling get together, so Charlie will be going.**

I drove right home after school to get ready for the barbeque with Jake and his friends. I was actually excited to meet the people Jake surrounded himself with. Then I realized that some of them probably weren't human, but werewolf. I became anxious; what if they didn't like me intruding on their secret?

Charlie was home already, even though he didn't have to start getting ready for another half hour.

I set my backpack down, took my shoes off, and headed upstairs. Jake wanted us at his house at four thirty; it was three now. I still had to shower, cook something to bring, finish getting ready and drive over there.

After my shower, I went downstairs to make food.

"Hey, Dad, what should I bring to the barbeque?" I asked.

His furrowed his brows in concentration. "Hmm, well I think they'll eat just about anything. You should see how those boys scarf down food over there."

"I guess something easy and quick to make, but with lots of quantity. Ambrosia salad it is," I said, pulling a huge bowl out from underneath the counter.

I stirred the jello mix, whipped cream and fruit together, and covered it with plastic wrap. Then I when back upstairs to finish getting ready.

It's a barbeque, so just something simple will do,

I thought. I picked out a white t-shirt, dark blue jeans, and a comfy hoodie in case it got too cold.

"You ready to go?" I asked Charlie as I walked into the living room. He nodded his head and picked up his keys.

"I think we should take my truck," I said. I didn't want to ride around La Push in his police cruiser.

"Sure, but I'm driving." I handed him my keys and we left.

The ride was silent until we were half-way to Jake's; then Charlie decided to show interest in how Edward was doing with his brother.

"So Edward's been doing good up there?" He asked.

"Yeah. He said there's already snow but it doesn't bother him much," I replied, trying to seem nonchalant. Thinking about him made my heart feel as though thousands of tiny knives were stabbing through it.

"That's good. Maybe he'll come down for the holidays," he said.

I quietly replied, "maybe," and put in my headphones for the rest of the trip. He didn't bother me after that.

When we arrived at Jake's, my thoughts drifted to Jasper, which was odd. _Maybe it was just his reaction to this place that made me think of him. _

"Hello, Charlie," Jake greeted us as we got out of the truck. "Bella." He grabbed the salad from my hands and we walked to the house.

We wouldn't be going to Sam's until five so we killed a half hour by playing Go-Fish, one of the only card games I know. When we finally did get to Sam's, I was unexpectedly mobbed by Jake's friends.

"Hey, Bella," one boy said. How did he know who I was? "I'm Quil."

"And I'm Jared," said the only boy with a shirt on.

Jake thankfully saved me after that. "Okay, okay. Calm down, guys, she'll be here all night."

The boys all took 2 steps back, where a particularly mean boy was already standing. Jake introduced me to Seth, Embry and Paul. Paul was the sour-faced one.

"Where's Sam?" I asked.

"Oh, he's inside. He'll be out in a minute," Jared answered.

I then realized that these were the boys in Jake's pack. They all wore cut-off shorts and had a tattoo on their upper arm. Jake noticed my uneasiness and asked the boys to leave. They ran off toward a cliff where a girl with shorts and a tattoo was standing; she also looked angry.

"So those are..." I trailed off.

"Yep," Jake answered, popping the "p". "They're a lot nicer than expected, right? Except for Paul, of course."

"Yeah, I didn't expect a girl though. Why didn't she come over?" At the mention of the girl Jake's face fell. "You don't like her?"

"It's not that I don't like her, it's just that she doesn't like any of us. Well, she doesn't like anybody really. Her name is Leah, and I'll explain the story another time. Sam's coming," he said, looking at a very muscular, tall man coming from the house.

"Hello, Bella," Sam greeted. "It's nice to finally meet you. My fiance, Emily, will be out in just a minute."

"It's nice to meet you too," I replied.

A few seconds later a girl appeared at his side. She had dark brown eyes and hair, and she looked very small standing next to Sam, but what really stuck out were the three scars running from the corner of her eye to the top of her arm. The scars made her face drag down but nevertheless she was beautiful.

"You must be Bella; we've heard great things about you," she said. "I'm Emily."

"Hi, Emily," I replied quietly. I felt rude, everyone here knew me and here I was being quiet and conservative, acting somewhat as if I was better than everyone. I tried to be more outgoing with Emily. "Your house is beautiful."

"Oh, thank you," she said, looking back at it with a smile. "Would you like to come inside and talk? Those boys are going to be all over you tonight, so I was hoping to get some time with you."

"That'd be great." I followed her inside, turned back to Jake to wave and sat down at the kitchen table with her. There were a few men in the living room watching TV and two boys who I heard call each other Collin and Brady in the kitchen getting hot dogs.

The more we talked, the more I liked Emily. She was really easy to talk to; it was as if you could tell her anything and you wouldn't be worried that she would tell anyone. She was also incredibly perceptive.

"So, you used to be with Edward Cullen?" she asked carefully.

Stab. I felt those little knives once again. I slowly nodded my head.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine, really," I assured her. "I think it's better to talk about him."

Then my thoughts turned over to Jasper and I got nervous. She might know what he is.

"You know about us, and them, don't you?"

What? Did she just ask me what I think she did? She couldn't possibly know about- then again she is engaged to a werewolf.

I was pretty sure she was talking about vampires and werewolves, so I nodded my head cautiously.

"I told him you knew," Emily said as if this wasn't some huge deal. "Nobody can date Edward for a year without knowing."

I chuckled lightly. "I can't believe you're so okay with this. I'm not allowed to say the word or Jake freaks out."

"I know. Jake is getting pretty good with controlling himself," she said like this was the most important statement in the world. "But I bet you can guess where I got the scars. Just get as far away as possible when he's upset."

"What? Jake did that?" I asked incredulously.

"No, no, no. It was Sam, and it was an accident of course, but all of those boys are capable of this," she said gesturing to her face.

"And soon those boys will be too," she said a bit more humorously, looking over at Collin and Brady who were now downing their fourth hot dogs.

"First it's the hunger, then the fever and aches, then the anger, then the phase," she said so they couldn't hear.

We finished up our conversation not long before the boys, and Leah, came trotting in. They all filled their plates and sat down, except Leah who went out onto the porch to eat.

"Hey, Bells. You two haven't been gossiping about us have you?" Jake said as he sat in the chair to my left.

"I'm sure everything said about me was good," Quil said. He sat to my right.

"Don't crowd her, boys," Emily ordered. "Would you like me to get you a plate, Bella?"

"Sure, that'd be great," I said, scooching closer to Jake. Quil was getting a bit too friendly.

We all ate, talked and joked. Paul, who first gave me the impression that he was rude and unfriendly, now seemed like a good friend as he asked me how I liked La Push. All of the boys were now another friend to talk to, another family I was accepted in. I now also had far less human friends than I did supernatural.

I was reluctant to leave after the bonfire, which was just us kids having a nice time down by the beach, but eventually Charlie got me into the truck and back to Forks.

That night, all of my thoughts were on my new family.

* * *

**Hardly any Jasper... I know, but I love the Pack and I want them to be plenty involved. Also I'm having my own "love life" issues, so I apologize if Bella and Jasper are not so romantic or nice to eachother in the next few chapters, which I didn't plan for them to be anyway. Yes, this will be a slow build.**


	13. Healing

**Saturday Morning**

I felt the vibration of my phone; how it got underneath my pillow I don't know. I was getting a text.

I'm repainting the kitchen. I would love it if you could help.

The message came from Esme.

I was still tired and it was a Saturday so I was able to sleep in, but I didn't even think about passing up time with the Cullens. I somewhat regretted staying so late at the barbeque because now I would probably fall asleep in the paint. I still had to shower and eat; well, just shower because Esme always has food cooking when I'm there.

I have to get ready but I'll be there, can't wait,

I sent back.

I slowly pulled off the comforter and walked over to get my bag of toiletries. I also pulled out an old shirt and ripped jeans to wear after taking a shower. The shower, thankfully, woke me up quite a bit. I got dressed, grabbed my keys and went out to my truck. I had a hard time seeing through the rain, but eventually I made it to the Cullens' house. Esme and Jasper were there to greet me.

"Hi, Sweetie," Esme said, pulling me into a hug.

"Hi, Esme," I replied.

"Hello, Bella," Jasper said, hugging me confidently. He was getting used to being around me, even when he was feeling everybody's bloodlust.

"Hi, Jasper." He let go of me when he felt my pain; it wasn't much, but Jasper was still getting used to hugging a human.

"Okay, let's get started. Here's your brush," Esme said, leading us into the kitchen.

The color she chose was a very light yellow, and she also bought new appliances for us to unpack. I started with the wall above the counters; Jasper did the wall surrounding the cupboards and Esme did the wall by the back door. After a half hour of talking, painting and cleaning up messes Esme decided to cook for me.

"What would you like, honey?" she asked.

"Whatever you have is fine. I'm not picky," I replied. "Thanks."

While she cooked, Jasper and I watched TV. As we flipped through channels, we came across MTV. I rolled my eyes at the rapper that was in the video; I didn't even know who he was.

"You don't like this kind of music?" he asked as if he expected me to.

"Not at all," I said, "Not all kids from this generation do."

"What do you listen to then?" He was now on YouTube search, _oh great._

"I don't know; alternative rock, post-hardcore," I said as if it were a question.

He searched up Motionless In White. "Do you listen to them?"

"Not really, I like Avenged Sevenfold," I told him.

He searched them up, and I told him to click on Afterlife, my favorite song by them.

"You don't really strike me as the kind of person to listen to this," he admitted.

"But I look like I like rap?" I asked incredulously.

I don't really remember when I got into rock; I always just kind of had it playing.

We went back and forth playing our favorite bands. It turned out he, too, liked rock.

After I ate, we finished up the kitchen, setup the appliances and cleaned up.

"What should I do with this CD? Edward left it here," Rose said, coming into the kitchen.

I braced myself for the pain... but it didn't come this time. I realized I hadn't thought of him in two days, and then I wondered if I was actually starting to get over him. At first I thought that the rest of my life would be filled with painful memories and awful depression, but now I was going two days without the mere thought of him! I had to admit, I was proud of myself, and hopeful, too. I hoped that maybe someday, along with the pain in my heart, that my love for him would go away and we might actually be able to be friends.

I also realized that I hadn't been alone for long these past couple days, and that I was surrounded by Jake, Esme and Jasper the whole time. Were they the key to my happiness? Once again I found myself feeling as though the Cullens were mine, and not even Edward could take them from me. Jake was a bonus and so were the pack. I now knew how to heal myself.

* * *

**Sorry it's so short and I know Bella doesn't like Rock in Twilight but I needed something that I could make Bella and Jasper have in common, plus I love rock and music is my life.**


	14. Silly, Bella

**Bella POV**

By the time Carlisle returned home from work it was pretty late, time had gone by quick with just Jasper and I playing games and talking.

"Would you like me to call Charlie?" Esme asked when she came down to greet Carlisle.

I nodded my head yes, "he must be worrying by now."

"So, have you read that book I gave you?" Jasper asked.

I was glad I decided to read some of it last week, I didn't want to dissapoint him.

"Yeah, it's really good," I said.

It was kind of like _The Hunchback Of Notre Dame. _This peasant gets a job as a butler for the King, due to the fact that he saved the Kings cousin and the King wanted to repay him. The princess returns home from a trip in France and the butler falls in love her. She agrees to sneak away with him and get married, because she, too, loves him.

I haven't finished it, but it really was great so far. I could see that I was the peasant and Edward was the princess.

"I'm glad you like it, and I hope you weren't offended by what I told you about how might be able to relate to it. I didn't mean to make that sort of an analogy," he said apologetically.

I swear it was like he could read my mind. "I know you didn't mean anything by it."

We talked about the book some more, then I got a text.

"Is that Charlie, now? You do realize he can be overprotective?" He joked.

I laughed, "yeah, Charlie texting. No, it's Mike."

_Wanna go to La Push on Tuesday night, like we did last year? Just as friends ;)_

I appreciated the fact that Mike was understanding, and I did miss my old friends. My human ones.

_Sure, sounds fun._

"Looks like I've got plans for La Push on tuesday," I said.

At the mention of La Push, like last time, Jasper got tense.

"Okay, what's up with you and La Push? I know you guys aren't supposed to be there, but why do you get all tense when I talk about it?" I asked.

He shook his head and looked down. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes you do, tell me," I demanded. "Is there some reason I shouldn't be there."

He looked up slowly and darkly. "You were at a barbeque with the reason and his pack last night, you should know."

Pack? He knew... but how? I knew Jake knew about the Cullens, so I guess it was foolish to think they didn't know about the wolves. Maybe that's why they didn't like going there. I tried to remember more of what Jake told me that day, but I couldn't, I'd just have to ask him.

It still didn't make any sense for him to be upset, the pack protected humans.

"You know they don't harm us," I said defensively.

He scoffed. "Emily Young?"

Emily, her face marred by the scars Sam created, on accident of course.

"Jake has better self control than that, they all do now." I felt a need to stand up for them, they were like my family.

"Look, I don't mean be hypocritical. But they also aren't much safer than us when they're angry, no matter how in control they may seem. Just please be careful, I wouldn't be able to stand it if you got hurt, Darlin'."

Darlin', did he have to call me Darlin'?! For the second time now he sent butterflies into my stomach, and I couldn't help it. It was like I had some sort of cru- no! _You can't think like that, Bella. That's you ex-boyfriensds brother! You bestfriends ex!_

I quickly tried to cover my emotions, but he noticed something. He had a look on his face, strangely it looked almost... relieved?

"I'm getting tired, I think I'll go to bed," I said.

I made my way up the stairs, into pajamas that I kept here for nights like these, and into Alices' bed. Since they left, Edwards room was now Jaspers, and Alices was used as a spare room. Basically I'd taken that room over; it had extra clothes, shoes and toiletries of mine.

I thought about the way Jasper made me feel earlier. He said "Darlin'" so lovingly, I got brotherly love confused with in-love. But now, assessing the situation, I knew he couldn't actually feel that way for me. I didn't want to ruin our friendship, so I would keep quiet about these little spurs of emotion.

Besides, I didn't need to be hurt again. Especially not now, and definitely not by Jasper. I hoped that maybe these feelings were arising because of what I was going through. _Yes, that's all. It has to be._

I fell asleep thinking about what things would be like, _if_ Jasper and I really did love eachother.

_What a silly thought, Bella._

* * *

**I apologize for this short chapter, and taking like a MONTH to update. I apologize for any mistakes, I want to get this out asap so I won't have it Beta'd. **


	15. Major Whitlock

I woke up feeling well-rested and good, something that didn't happen too often anymore. The sun lit up the room with a brilliant glow.

I heard music playing somewhere in the house. I rolled out of bed and went downstairs to investigate. Once downstairs, I realized the sound was coming from the garden.

I went outside and sitting there, as lovely as ever, was Jasper playing the guitar. I gasped at the sight. The sun reflected off of him beautifully, and he was so serene; he looked like an angel. My stomach did a little flip. I got a bit embarrassed and hoped Jasper didn't catch my emotions.

"Good morning, Bella," Jasper greeted.

"Good morning," I replied quietly, "I didn't mean to intrude."

"You're not intruding," he assured me. "Take a seat."

I sat next to him on the bench. "You play beautifully."

He smiled. "Thanks."

"So when did you learn to play?" I asked. His acoustic was amazing.

"When I was young, my father played. I enjoy the quiet, peacefulness of it. It helps me think."

He looked up at me, the turn of his head bringing us entirely too close. A little wave of excitement went through me, one that was all my own.

"I'm going to go get breakfast," I said quietly as I rushed back into the house. When I looked back at Jasper, he looked frustrated.

What have you done, Bella?

Esme was moving swiftly through the kitchen. I noticed she was drifting away from the window. Oh no. She didn't see, did she? She had a smug smile on her face, which was odd, but didn't give any tell-tale signs that she had seen. If she had, I doubt she would be happy.

"What would you like to eat, sweetie?" she asked in her maternal way.

"Whatever you have is fine."

I sat by myself in the living room. A few minutes later, Jasper came in. I braced myself. Would he scold me for these little spurs of emotion? Or would he simply want to talk about it?

"May I sit?" he asked politely.

I nodded. "Of course."

"Today is Sunday, you know," he said, as if today had some sort of signifance.

Did it? Spring break started tomorrow, I didn't have to work, and I didn't go to church.

I looked up at him quizzically.

"The tickets Alice bought us were for today. If you don't want to go, that's fine." Right, the museum tour.

"No, I want to go. It'll be fun," I said with enthusiasm.

"Okay. It starts at one thirty, but the drive will take a good hour. We'll leave a little before twelve thirty," he informed me. I looked at the clock; it was a quarter to eleven now.

I didn't say anything in response, so he left.

Esme went over the top for breakfast. I couldn't finish all the waffles, eggs, sausage and hashbrowns she made. After I ate, I showered and got dressed. Jasper was in the living room, all ready to go.

"Are you ready to leave?" he asked.

I nodded. It was then that I noticed how quiet the house was.

"Where is everybody?" I asked.

"Rose and Emmett went to the Amazon for the rest of spring break. Carlisle and Esme are upstairs, packing to visit... a friend. They aren't leaving until tomorrow morning," he told me. He flashed me a smile. "Don't worry. They wouldn't leave without a goodbye."

I nodded, not knowing what to say then. He took me to the garage, leading me to his Charger.

The quiet hum of the engine and the comfortable seat made me a bit tired. Not wanting to fall asleep right before we got to the museum, I decided to start a conversation.

"Who are Carlisle and Esme visiting?"

Jasper grew a bit uneasy, and I sensed his panic. It took him a moment before he replied with, "Just a friend."

For some reason I didn't believe him. I eyed him suspiciously. There's only one person that I could think of that he wouldn't want me to know they were visiting.

"If they're visiting Edward, you can tell me. I think I'm really over him," I said. I was surprised by how confident I sounded. I knew I was healing, but was I really past everything he and I shared? I was going longer periods of time without thinking of him, but I could still feel the hole in my heart. I never expected to fully heal. Edward had such a huge impact on my life; that'd be impossible.

"Fine. They are visiting Edward. I'm sorry for not being honest with you," he said sincerely. He had a small frown on his face.

"It's okay," I assured him. "You were just trying to protect me. You were being a good friend."

He nodded his head and murmured something to himself. It sounded like "Right, _friend_".

So, he was catching onto my feelings that had no business even existing. I wanted to assure him that my emotions were just temporary, and as soon as I was completely over Edward, they would go away. Instead, I decided to ignore the problem. Why ruin the evening with something as petty and trivial as that?

A few minutes of silence later, we pulled up to the museum. It was tall and had very elaborate designs carved into the top.

We went inside and Jasper tensed a bit. I realized that no matter how in control he could be around one human, he was still a vampire.

"If it's too uncomfortable for you, we can-"

"I'm fine. Don't worry," he said. He pointedly took a deep breath.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Okay."

Alice was right; the tour was fun and informational. We learned about different kinds of dinosaurs and how they went extinct. Then we learned about early civilizations, and even heard some of their legends. One was about vampires, which sent Jasper and I into a fit of laughter. Thankfully there was nothing about yellow eyes, just red ones.

When we got to the war part of the tour, Jasper actually became interested. He scoffed at a few things.

"Wrong. So, so wrong," he whispered in my ear.

All was fine, until we got to the Civil War.

"The youngest Major in the Confederate army was Major Whitlock, and he led one of the most successful battles for the South," the guide announced.

Jasper hit me with a wave of panic.

"What's wrong?" I asked, tugging on his jacket.

"Bella, we'd better go," he spoke quietly and urgently.

"Unfortunately, there weren't many things recorded or left over from this battle. Major Whitlock died while on an evacuation trip from Texas; his journals were lost along with his body."

"Never mind," he said as she finished her speech.

I looked at him, confused. Why did this Major Whitlock get him so anxious?

"I'll explain later."

I let it go after that.

After the part of the tour over modern day advancements, the guide announced the tour was over.

"Where would you like to go for lunch?" Jasper asked as we got back into the car.

"Lets just go back to your house. You can tell me about Major Whitlock on the way." After we settled into the car, he began.

"Bella, I am Major Whitlock," he admitted.

I gasped in shock. "I thought you were Jasper Hale."

He shook his head. "I use that name for intents and purposes only. Whitlock is my human name."

"Oh. So you told me you were in the army, but you didn't tell me you were the youngest Major," I accused playfully.

He laughed, "Sorry 'bout that, Darlin', "

Another wave of excitement went through me. That endearment didn't have a good effect on me.

"So, what really happened during that evacuation?" I asked.

His grip tightened on the steering wheel, and his jaw clenched. "Could we talk about that another time?"

I nodded my head, somewhat afraid to speak.

"I didn't mean to frighten you; I just don't like talking about it."

Then I remembered what he told me before about not liking to relive the soldier thing. He must've meant whatever happened afterwards.

When we arrived at the Cullens' house, Esme already had lunch made for me. We talked about the museum while I ate.

All too soon, it was time to go home. I wanted to stay, but Charlie was working so often lately, and I'd already spent the night last night. I wanted to spend some time with him. I also had chores to do.

"Bye, Bella. We'll be back Saturday," Esme said before I drove off.

I grew sad at the thought of not seeing them for almost a week. Jasper walked over.

"I'll still be here. You'll still come over, right?" he asked, hopeful. The sadness was gone.

I smiled. "Of course."

When I pulled in the driveway, Charlie's cruiser was already there. I pulled into my spot and went inside.

"There you are. I was just about to call," he greeted me at the front door.

I put away my jacket and shoes, then went back downstairs to cook dinner. I took the chicken out of the fridge and a box of frozen stir fry mix out of the freezer and put them in a saucepan. I set the timer for ten minutes and then went upstairs.

I emailed Renee and got together a load of laundry. I also read some more of _A Peasant's Dream_.

Dinner with Charlie was quiet, besides when he asked if I wanted to go see Jake tomorrow while he went fishing with Harry and Billy.

I nodded. "Sure."

After dinner, I was pretty tired. I went over the day in my head.

If I was going to see Jasper this week, I was really going to have to cool it with my messed up emotions. It was inappropriate and embarrassing.

I tried to read _A Peasant's Dream _again,but sleep eventually won.


End file.
